My final letter to Aparaajit.

Shreya, I just wanted you to be in the CC. This letter is addressed to Mr. Aparaajit ,V.

I sincerely hope you did not expect this to be a forward, for I do not place you in any bit of high honors in my thoughts. Not that it fuckin matters.

God, I forgot my password for this id, I even forgot it... lol. It’s been so long since I have used this dumb old thing.

Like I had stated in my subject, you have appeared to have reached your goal.

Let's see... what was mine? Innocent. All I wanted was to be successful in life, as a friend, daughter, sister, cousin, teacher, helper, yada yada yada. Everything that I am. I truly am working my ass off for it. I have three jobs where I work for free to get service hours, on top of that I have to work for money, and study if I want to maintain my top grades (whether you believe it or not, I am a topper here. Of all people, you underestimated me? Why did you think my mother told you that? I guess she didn’t understand it when I told her “MA, LEAVE APAR FUCKING ALONE. He and I don’t get along. I have nothing to do with his likes.” She apparently thought I was joking, on contrary to what you’d have probably conjured; oh, her mom’s saying this so I can think higher of Ganavya. Think what the shit you want of me, but don’t you guys dare think of placing my ma low. That comes from my brother too. ) Oh, and then I have to resist the temptation to enhance my performance in multi folds by drugs. Oh, and then I have to help my peers out, by tutoring them. Oh, and then I have to help my teachers out, as the students here wouldn’t lift a finger. Oh, and then, I’m not supposed to feel bad about my cousin dying in a car crash, and not supposed to get disturbed by his father crying to my mother, who HAS to have that conversation aloud on the speakers, esp. when I’m preparing for a world history honors test. Of course it’s expected of me to take care of my mother, why does she have to be the one who has to emotionally support me, when I have such great friends like you?
It would be obnoxious of me to even think of becoming tired with such less occupations in the course of my friggin day. It would be absolutely retarded of me to cry over my grandfather, cry thinking about my poor grandmother. It would be detestable of me to even miss India. It would repugnant of me to get repulsed and scared to death of the situations we Indians face in school. (Imma send you a little video I took at a party…perhaps you’d see how beautiful and sunshine-filled my days are. Oh, and there was an 8 year old in that room too, watching that horror. Purely educational, I must say.) It is entirely disagreeable of me to even think still suffering from post-accident-traumas. After all, how was the situation when the accident happened? My mother was no where to be seen, my father and I set out to search for her, and meet with an asshole traveling at 60 miles per hour, total our brand new luxury car, the first one we’ve ever bought. I just get a few breaks here and there in my body, and become the cause for the new car we’re paying for now, for the medical money for all of my darn CAT scans, for all of THAT guy’s money and car, and of course a lot of strain put on my parents. Like I mean, so what if my parents actually used the word divorce a week ago, freaking me out of my minds? I mean, they’re so sweet to each other now as if we’re in paradise… That is no valid reason for me to even think of breaking down. Even when it’s been weeks since I spoke to my lovely brother, who couldn’t care less about me. Oh, could you at least ask him to ACT AS IF HE GIVES A DAMN IF I AM ALIVE OR NOT? So what if the only guy I trusted here turns out to be a big pervert, stalking and video recording my friend when she was going to the fuckin toilet? So what if stapled my finger today when I was working? Heh. What are those problems to writing a college exam? I understand, I have been obnoxious, intolerable, insupportable, unacceptable, deplorable and every other dreadfully appalling adjective available…

What excuse do you have now? I purposefully called at seven different time zones, you have no “I was sleeping, I was at college, I was…” time excuses left. I even called at 12 20 or so, on OCTOBER 24th… heard that date before? Don’t tell me you were asleep. I know for a fact you called Bhav to wish her.

Strike one.

All those small problems up there? Well, I thought it would be easy \, too, to take care of., But, being the selfish bitch I am, I’m not able to handle it, even when I have such great support from great friends like you. Heh. What valid reason can you give me now, child, for not picking up the phone? I do not recall any mail you took the pains to compose and send to me… you cannot say I did not reply. I would’ve believed you were too busy with your exams (rofl) if I didn’t come across that beautiful long testimonial someone flaunted to me. Talk about lmao.

Strike two.

Your behavior in the past few months were, I must say, quite enlightening. Thank the heavens I realized at least now. Like I had stated above, you have reached your goal. I have (finally) begun to think you truly are abhorring. And no, don’t think too highly of yourself, I did not call you so many times because I was desperate to speak to you. I have a lot of people who actually quite like speaking to me, I certainly wouldn’t waste 4$ (…200 rs. ) per minute on someone who thought I was a toy. I just happened to call that many times to have a good defense.

I guess I don’t even have to tell you by now…your out, strike three, you’re free.

Oh yeah, go hitch a taxiride. I dare you to run, dare you to move. High time you realize you are not Savin' me by hanging on. Just sail away from my thoughts, go back to your precious group of wisemen. Thanks to you, I've finally contructed my own wonderwall.

God, your so yesterday.

Don’t even bother replying, your highness. And yeah, I’ve said this many times before, but now I’ve been operating from a new id for the past few weeks.

Am I playing hard to get? LOL. No. I am, in fact, going to post this on my blog. Don’t worry, dont freat and sweat; bhavya won’t see it. But, yes, I am sending this to shreya ramnath, a character I highly trust, revere and relate to. She’s in the CC. I chose her as number one, I like her a lot, and number two, she has nothing to do with you, so you wouldn’t worry about your lovely name. Oh, and I guess it was something like a parting gift…after all, you happen to cherish the last person I introduced you a lot...

I swear, if it wasn’t for the promise I made to a friend here (I promised I wouldn’t curse) and my mother’s good upbringing… I would truly ask you to fuck off.

I cant believe I had spilt so many tears over the likes of you.


Smile. You've attained your goal.